Once
upon a time, many, many, many, ma ‘na cifra of many years ago, at the
beginning of the initiation of the mond, there was the caos.
One day, God (God is the nome d’art of Dio), God, who was disoccupated, had a folgorant idea and so God created the Nutell.
And God saw that the Nutell was good, very good, very very good, good ‘na cifra.
The mangiation of God was long,
He
manged one million of barattols of Nutell sfrutting the fact that God
has not a Mamm that strills if you sbaff too much Nutell…
And
after this mangiation, God invented the Water Closed Run,the cors in
the cabinet,and some Nutell’s derivates like the red bubbons, the panz,
the cellulit and ceter, and ceter.
After
di which (dopodiche’) he invented Adamo ed Eva (after callshe putann
eva) and all the paradise and he diss to Adamo and Eva.. Now you have
all the Paradise, you can do everything, very tutt: you have the
permission to eat, to drink, to kiss, to scop (sweep), nothing lavor,
nothing affitt, nothing concors of impiegats, nothing cod alla post,
nothing IRPEF, ILOR, IVA e minchiat various).
Only
very ozious life: television, telenovels, GF, island of the famous,
football, fotcojons, moviols, process of Monday, appell of Tuesday,
cassazion of Wednesday, and ceter, and ceter.
You
have gratis restaurants, cinemas, theaters, all the Paradise is yours:
air-conditioned, autom riscaldament, moquette,parquett,
troyett,fighett, tresset, bidet, omelette, eccet, eccet…
There’s
just one thing, remember: in tutt the Paradise just one thing
absolutely prohibited. Come, come to me in the giardin dissed God: this
is “the Nocciol , the alber of the Nutell.
Only
this alber of the Nutell is prohibited, because I like the Nutell very
much, very very much, much ‘na cifra and I want all the Nutell, tutt
the Nutell for me.U understand?”
Well..good nain god ma good times, ite in the paradais.
During the prim temps, Adamo and Eva stetter very happy.
Adamo said: “What a cool!” (“Cool” is not in Italian “freddo”, no, What a cool means “Che cul”).
“All the Paradise is nostr!” And everyday, ognigiorn, they discovered something new.
A lot of scoperts, many scoperts,many many scoperts, ‘na cifra di scoperts.
One day the scopert of the hot water, one day the scopert of the spaghettis, one day the cigarettes, and ceter, and ceter.
But one day, a trist day, a very very trist day, trist ‘na cifra, Adamo and Eva fecer the scopert of the first colazion.
And
after the scopert of the cappuccin, the scopert of the aranch succ,
the scopert of the cornetts, they understood that something was
mancant.
“Eva!” said Adamo Don’t you think that qualcos is mancant here, proprio here, ‘ncopp this fett?
“Second me” Eva risposed “‘ncopp the fett you have to metter burr and marmelade.”
“No, no Eva, you know that the marmelade schif myself.
I want ‘ncopp this fett something very particular, very very particular, particular ‘na cifra.
“What do you think about the Nutell?”
“No, Adamo you are scording that the Signor said that’s vietat!”
“Yes, I remember, but only a little assaggiation, don’t succed nothing!”
And
sto pirlett and son d’Androcchia de Adamo sces in the cortil where the
alber of the Nutell was and he pres a small barattol and spalmed the
brown cream on the fett and assagged the Nutell. Mmmmmm good neh?
Adamo and Eva don’t ebber the time to exprimer the godiment that the tuons and fulmins apparved in the ciel and one voice said:
“Potevamo stupirv you with special effects, but I’m God, not Fantagod!
Adamo, Eva, come here!
I’m
very incazzed with you, very very incazzed dic per davver, incazzed
‘na cifra. one biog cifra neh! How did you permit to tocc the Nutell?
“Didn’t you remember that it was prohibited?”
“azz!”
esclamed Adamo “It was prohibited!” Oh, sorry, God, I’m very very
sorry, sorry ‘na cifra verament my God, I really really was
completelyscordat…”
“Don’t
do that fint tont cojonett d’un Adamo, I’m God, I can see everything,
very tutt, and I know that you and the woman have deliberatament
assaggiated the Nutell. So you have a big punhition, a very castig for
your peccat, very very big peccat.
But siccom I’m sconfinatly good, you can choose, you have two scelts:
“Scelt number 1:
nothing Nutell for ever and ever in the secols of the secols, amen!”
“Nooo!”
Eva was piagnucoling
“It’s a thing very tragic, very very tragic, tragic ‘na cifra!”
“Aspett mignottell!”
said God
“Don’t be frettolous woman…”
Scelt number tue (2):
“U can take the Nutell, no problem, let’s prend, prend, but for you is the cacciation out of the Paradise.
U
will have to lavorar with the sudor of your front, U will zapp the
terr, you’ll have mal of schien and, like this don’t bastass, everytime
you will mang Nutell, the malediction of the brufols, of the mal of
panch, of the cagarel will be cadent on U.”
“Aleyukkukkuuuuuu’’!
esclaimed Adamo
“Thank you God, thank you, we don’t interess the cacciation dal Paradise, the important is to have the Nutell!
“Goodbye! Lebewohl, Au revoir,Adios,Ciao, ciao!”
And
so Adamo and Eva were cacciated and this original peccat and this
malediction cadded on lor and on lor discendents, and on the discendents
of the discendents sino a me togo tuentinain.
Infact,
tutt’ogg, you can veder in the pubblicity all the ragazz that per aver
one fett of pan and Nutell they scalan the mountains they stay in a
tend al fredd and al gel and ceter, and ceter.
But the final pensier of tutti noi is
“It’s meglio faticar and soffrir with the Nutell piuttost che the Terrestr Paradise senz the Nutell”.
Large leaves, close the street, your say that I have told my.
